Let me eat cake

My nan died early Monday morning. This is both a good thing and a bad thing. It is a bad thing because I miss her. It is a good thing because she had dementia and Alzheimer’s and wasn’t the nan I knew and loved.

 

She died with my Mum and My Dad in the room. I’m very happy she did not die alone. Apparently it was a very moving and dignified scene. She would have been proud. Mum was moved at its class. I’m very proud of both Nan and Mum.

 

Funerals are weird things. I’ve given up on those for people who are my age. there are too many of them. But for people who are old enough they can be wonderful celebrations. I’m certainly enjoying this one. Good way to catch up with family I don’t ordinarily see. And it’s a chance to celebrate a life. It’s a pity we only do that when they’re dead.

 

I went to say goodbye to Nan this morning. She has lost a lot of wait due to her refusal to eat or drink. In effect she starved herself to death. She was sick of her disease. I admire her courage. And while I didn’t recognise her physically, and her body had an overwhelming sense of strength and relaxation – I was convinced it was her. Even though she didn’t look like her… but at the same time it did. Needless to say at that exact point in time the dust from the room entered my eyes and fluid somehow leaked from them.

 

I bawled like a baby.

 

She was my Nan. I loved her beyond words. She’s been gone a long time but now I know she’s gone for good.

 

If I ever get dementia put me out of your misery. (NB – only medical definitions of dementia can be used… I know your tricks, Mr Street).

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 24th, 2008 at 12:23 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.