Let me eat cake

All things have second birth;
The earthquake is not satisfied at once.

-Wordsworth

We’re all alive. At least those of us in my immediate circle of friends. It could (and, in the shadows of the dark, dark night, should) have been so much worse.

Trying to get my head around the whole thing. Failing miserably. 1/3 of the buildings in the CBD are to be demolished – if they haven’t done so already.

Will write some stories down at some point. Meaning to tonight. But my brain isn’t working. Throbbing, yes. Working, no.

The stuff.gen.nz website had no posts on it today. Which as well all know means that something terrible will happen.

It also happened on the day Mary and Charles got married. This probably balances out on the side of good.

On other news my computer is irritating me. And Christchurch has a Wendys.

How is it Christmas again? I don’t think the months like us as much as they used to as they don’t seem to hang around as long as much these days.

Well, it’s just over 7 weeks since the big earthquake struck. Since then we’ve had over 2000 aftershocks. Which is in the vicinity of 40 per day. About half of those are too small to be felt. But apparently you feel the rest even if no consciously.

In popular culture having the earth move for you is a good thing. In this situation we’re moving for the earth and it’s not so fun. But, like many things that aren’t particularly fun, it gets a little addictive. Like war, peace, and minecraft.

You tend to get a little on edge if you don’t feel an earthquake that day. Which is unfortunate because you also get on edge if you do feel an earthquake. Well, personally, I’m not really on edge during the earthquake itself (which tends to be an exercise in ‘ohh… that’s the stuff. Straight into the veins, boys’), but afterwards you do tend to think ‘whoa. This addiction is sick.’

And then the withdrawal.

There is a lot of damage. So much damage. Large swathes of Colombo, Manchester, High and Victoria Streets just… aren’t. Makes the walk to work that much more depressing. Oddly New Regent Street looks largely ok although there is some substantial cracking on the facade of a couple of buildings. The aftershocks don’t help. Some places: ok after earthquake; not ok after aftershocks.

Around 100,000 claims have been lodged with the EQC. That’s domestic only and not motor. That’s a lot of damage.

Some of the commercial buildings in town look ok-ish but are Badly Damaged. Sadly a lot of the owners are either underinsured or (I don’t understand this at all) uninsured.

There’s a house on the empty section next door. Moved there last week. Apparently one of the ones where the land is really bad but the house is ok-ish. Currently on stilts. Happy to confirm the 4.8 we had an hour ago has not caused everything to fall 1.5m into the ground.

If it does, I’ll take photos.

GO AWAY AFTERSHOCKS.

Seriously. It’s over. We done. I never liked you. The more I get to know you the less I like you.

Wow.

That Earthquake was friggen scary. Woke up to a rumbling that sounded like a brawl between two suburbs. Not people from suburbs brawling. But suburbs getting up, dusting a few houses off then getting angry on their neighbours. Utilising the skills I’ve learnt from growing up in an earthquake prone zone and pulled my duvets up to my mouth and watched for the windows to explode. (I passed Idiot 101). Fortunately nothing exploded. After a couple of minutes shaking backwards and forwards while a giant baby shook my house like a toy I lay there thinking about things. I was alive. This was a Good Thing. It was also dark and I was sleepy. However thought best to check that I still had a lounge. Success. I still had a lounge. But in my kitchen there were a couple of cans of beans that had attempted to take the earthquake as a chance for freedom. They did not escape.

But my jar of gherkins did not survive and two gherkins perished on the floor.

Which reinforced that I had completely over-reacted. Earthquake smirthquake. Those sirens I could hear were just for over-reactors and heart attacks.

Actually: No.

Down town seems to resemble a war zone. Brick seems to be a popular material. And now: a material that is very close to tar seal and cars.

Chimneys: Ah, I remember chimneys. They used to be upright. Now: not upright.

Walls: Who needs walls? Why use 4 when you can get away with 3?

We’re really very lucky that this happened at 4.35am. If this had happened at 4.35pm then there would have been numerous fatalities.

Thanks also to earthquake safety standards. They saved lives today.

Most people don’t have power or water. Nic’s Emergency Planning skills have rubbed off and I’ve got food and water to survive a while (thanks man). Also power! And Internet!

It’s moments like these I’m aware I work in insurance claims.

Edit: Some stats I pulled from teh interweb. If accurate – incredible.

Magnitude:
Port au Prince -7
Christchurch – 7.1

Depth:
Port au Prince: 10km
Christchurch: 10km

Distance from epicentre:
Port au Prince – 25km
Christchurch – 33km

Death toll:
Port au Prince – 230,000
Christchurch – 0

Thanks building standards!

Ben and I were in the line to play the roles of Shackleton or part of his merry band of intrepid polar explorers on a National Geographic documentary about his hidden stash of whiskey.

It was almost the perfect gig. Polar Explorers. International Documentary. Whiskey.

Sadly, there appear to be other bearded actors who will work for free… but on a weekday.

We have, in other words, the Anti-Ben and Anti-Dave.

They got the gig. The Bastards.

They may win this battle. But we will win the war. Oh yes. The battle has only just begun.

Technically, I’m not a cowboy. I don’t ride a horse. I don’t go that close to cows. I’ve never called anyone a punk.

But I do have Red Dead Redemption which is officially awesome. And makes me a cowboy. It’s so immersive I’ve found myself walking from Point A to Gunfight B because I wanted to soak up the atmosphere, landscape and enjoy things. Besides, if I was a cowboy I wouldn’t run to somewhere. I’d slowly meander reflecting on the meaningless brutality of frontier violence and the start beauty of the desolate landscape. Probably not in those terms. And I’d be riding a horse. And probably dragging someone behind the horse by means of lasso. But that would be for poetic reasons and not solely for violence. Interestingly I’ve discovered the game won’t let you sleep with hookers, but will let you drag someone up and down the main street of a town until they bleed to death. Morality is Interesting.

On my newly instigated (and just invented) food-group based rating system I’m going to give it: Really Good BP Pie That You Crave All Night After Drinking With Good Mates.

In other news: We made another 48hours film. People seemed to like it. This is good. Including the good people at io9.com – who have linked it on their site. Woot. Dan Allan’s face there for the whole world to see.

Alternatively: check it out here:

No Paul X Willis this time I’m afraid. Next year. Bigger.Faster.More shine.

Friday nights have always been good nights. Often due to beer (for centuries the traditional means of welcoming and obliterating the weekend). Always for the fact it’s no longer the working week.

Today I was sitting on Ben’s floor watching him blow raspberries on the feet of his not-quite-but-very-very-nearly-crawling son. And I realised that things have changed. For those that have been desperately clicking refresh on his blog for the last… year Karen did finish giving birth. And now there is Karen and Ben progeny doing things like rocking out to music (if I can teach him nothing else I’ll teach him to throw out the horns when rocking out to the Wiggles). And pulling my hair. I figure it’s best he enjoy it while he can.

And there are other babies. Caygill baby. Young baby. Clark baby.

This isn’t Bentleys on a Friday anymore. No sir.

Well done to all the parents involved. Also good work to Dan, who appears to be engaged.

Also – we are applying to have funding for a feature film. Take that everyone who left Christchurch. Boom!

PETER JACKSON AND GUILLERMO DEL TORO COLLABORATE ON KIWI FILMS

Press Release
June 4th, 2009

Peter Jackson and Guillermo Del Toro spent valuable time away from The Hobbit to collaborate in selecting three wildcard films for the seventh annual ’V’ Energy 48HOURS Furious Filmmakingcompetition that had 700 filmmaking teams competing for a $100,000 prize pool. From the 700 shorts that screened nationwide, the six City Winners now go on to compete against Jackson’s and Del Toro’s three Wildcard picks on C4 Television.

In an exciting new development (thanks NZONAIR & C4), thirty of the best shorts will screen every week night on C4, starting Monday June 8th and culminating in the Grand Final on June 20th at 9pm.

The first wildcard selected by the duo is by The Downlow Concept with their short IT’S LIKE BEING BACK IN PRIMARY SCHOOL, a tale of floods, feces and mature love. This years Auckland Runner Ups will be hoping history repeats as they look to win their second Grand Championship after previously winning in 2006 for their film BROWN PERIL; THE TIM PORCH STORY.

The second wildcard is Team IdiotVision’s short THE REVENGER. Long time fan favourites, this team returns to form with a hilarious take on home consumer revenge kits.

The final wildcard team Goodfellas were also one of last years Grand Finalists. This year they are back with the nail-biting horror pic FANATICS about a Crusaders supporter from hell.

A judging panel will then decide just who will be crowned Grand Champion for 2009. This years judges include home town heroes Taika Waititi, Cliff Curtis, Karl Urban and twenty international Judges.

Joining the three wildcards are the six city winners listed below.

Natures Baby by Sinistral (Auckland)
A mothers love results in a giant naked dwarf attacking Auckland

Hardwood Floors by Guerilla Monkeys (Hamilton)
A psychedelic tale of parallel worlds and affordable housing

The Amazing World of Sticks by Kaiti Hill (Gisborne, Tairawhiti)
An educational look at crucifixtion

Otack Otack Otack Falls by Killa Walz/Orca (Wellington)
An existential fusion of Shock Corridor and Titticut Follies 

New Fish by TBALC (Christchurch)
Inspired and funny musical spin on prison flicks like Short Eyes

Charlotte by Line Men (Dunedin)
Stunning animation about nosy neighbours and secret parcels

TV Series Every Week Night @ 11pm on C4 – June 8 – June 18
Grand Final June 20th, 9pm C4

48HOURS OFFICIAL WEBSITE 
Hundreds of teams compete. Hundreds of thousands watch.

WRITE. SHOOT. CUT. SURVIVE.

Well. How about that. Fourth time lucky.

TBALC win Christchurch regional final of 48 Hours.

We didn’t even have to rig the voting.

Film now gets shown on the final. Which is on C4.

That’s crazy. And awesome.

Unfortunately I will be in Peru for the final. That’s not really much of a bad thing though. I’ll be in Peru!

Things are remarkably awesome.

Actually that’s a lie.

But these guys are on a boat.

They see quite excited about it.

Oh how I laughed.

Airfares: Purchased.

Trek to Maccu PichuL Booked.

Apprehension: Check.

Frustration at downstairs neighbour’s extremely loud x-box: High.

Stress: everyone needs a hobby.